


Perfect

by innusiq



Category: Social Network (2010) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 18:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innusiq/pseuds/innusiq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set the night Andrew and Emma attend a performance of Asuncion.  Jesse may, or may not have the wrong idea, and he may or may not be panicking (think may on both accounts).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfect

**Present**

The night's performance wasn't horrible, or the worst of record by Jesse's best recollection, but for him, it was definitely a less than stellar deliverance, each line lacking a connection and emotion, a loss of focus and separation between actor and character that leaves Jesse feeling the downward spiral that has no end in sight. He'd like to claim it wasn't his fault at all, that it was due to their surprise _guests_ that he feels so unbalanced and on edge, not even a well meaning and concerned _'get it together Eisenberg'_ from Justin helps, but thankfully all good and bad performances must come to an end, and once they take their final bow in front of the small house (it never felt this _small_ before), Jesse makes his escape. Granted, he doesn't make it too far before Justin corners him to see if he's all right.

"You should just talk to him instead of assuming Armageddon has begun."

He blinks up at his friend, not sure if he's comforted by the fact Justin knows him as well as he does, or embarrassed because the mess that is his head is so plain to see. He doesn't have a chance to respond before Justin pulls him into a hug and adds, "Just don't start panicking, okay? He's just a guy."

_Easier said than done,_ Jesse thinks, as Justin pulls away, ruffling up his curls before they begin the process of removing the vestiges of Vinny and Edgar. 

Jesse's not one to completely ignore fans or those hanging behind at the stage door after a performance, waiting to offer whatever words of encouragement or to simply get a photo with an Oscar nominee, but there are just days when he can't handle the praise and adulation from perfect strangers and he chooses to duck out a different door, the hood of his black hoodie pulled up and head ducked to avoid any eye contact that could give him away. Thankfully today it's a little easier to bypass the small group of people congregating at the stage door because word has gotten out that there is more than just 179 unknown New Yorkers in attendance, the fans attempting to get autographs and pictures with the new Spiderman and his love interest, not to mention a few paparazzi that seem to never be too far behind whenever Andrew is out and about in whatever city the actor is visiting or working in. 

Jesse is swiftly walking by on the opposite side of Commerce Street, trying his best to keep from being noticed by the fans, the paparazzi and even his previous costars, but in the end he's weak, something he is well aware of (especially in regards to Andrew), and when he does chance a glance across the street he catches Andrew's eye immediately. At first, there is a slight smile, one that quirks up one side of Andrew's mouth, but when he doesn't react or return the gesture the look on Andrew's face falls and Jesse ducks his head again, continuing on his way in the hopes of disappearing into the city, becoming anonymous and avoiding what he already knows to be true, avoiding receiving proof of what he will no longer be able to deny and erase any hope he's been able to still cling to uselessly. 

Honestly, what chances did he ever stand against the rest of _beautiful_ Hollywood? What hope did he ever think he could compete with someone like _Emma Stone_ , who is as beautiful on the inside as she is the outside, not to mention being funny and talented and such a comfort to be around in general. It was inevitable that Andrew would fall for her. It was inevitable that it was a leading lady Andrew would be attracted to and not his leading man.

So Jesse runs, not literally, but the result is all the same. He flees from facing Andrew, the one person he never thought he'd ever fear facing or feel uncomfortable being around, and avoids the sure humiliation to come admitting to his unrequited feelings towards his friend. How stupid could he have been? How is it he always falls for the people who never fall back? He'd be lying if he claimed not knowing exactly when his heart (or its protection from inevitable pain) was a lost cause, but he knows exactly when that happened.

**Past**

"Jesse, meet Snickers," Andrew greets one Sunday evening upon Jesse's return from a weekend of voiceover work on the animated bird movie project he's been working on intermittently during the filming of the _Facebook_ movie. It's not just a greeting, but a presentation, or more precisely an introduction, to a small, sandy-colored fuzzball that fits securely in Andrew's hands, mewling its own pathetic greeting. 

"As in the candy bar?" Jesse asks, one brow quirked as be closes the door behind him, dropping his backpack and automatically reaching out to take possession of the kitten that has fur about as wild as Andrew's hair when his friend is left to his own styling devices, Jesse wondering briefly if Andrew's hair is just as soft too.

"No, while that would be brilliant as well, but it's Snickers like the cookie," Andrew explains, scratching the kitten's head gently and grinning as it stretches its delicate neck to accommodate (beg) for more. "Short for Snickerdoodle."

"And whose cat is this exactly," Jesse inquires, not that he minds having a cat around, he misses his own (mostly temporary) brood back home, calls just about every day to check up on them (much to his family's dismay because he'd feel too guilty retuning them without finding a new home first just because he has work). The problem is, it's not like they can simply acquire a kitten for the heck of it, especially when they have homes to return to after this movie eventually wraps, and neither of those homes are in the same city, and who would retain custody of the little guy when this was all over (precedence would lead that Jesse be the sucker in said scenario).

Andrew is quiet a moment too long, hand now scratching the back of his own head, causing his hair to get even crazier than normal. Jesse sighs.

"Andrew..."

"See he was here... When I got home yesterday... Crying his little heart out. I couldn't very well leave him out... He's so... tiny!"

Jesse sighs again, but now it's more over the fact that taking the kitten in is exactly what he would have done if he'd been the one to find the little guy on their doorstep, no questions and no hesitations. The little guy starts purring away quietly, nuzzling at Jesse's hand, a tiny tooth here and there catching on the skin of his fingers.

"I thought you'd be..." Andrew pauses, shrugs, pouts even, before continuing. "Happy. That... I don't know... You're always phoning home, and I figured he might help you be a little less homesick."

Jesse looks down at the kitten, tiny but wide eyes looking back up at him, waiting for what Jesse isn't sure _Snickers_ even knows, but he relents a little. "Thank you..."

Andrew is beaming now when he looks back up, but Jesse must continue. "But in the morning, I will try to locate the closest placement agency to find him a good, _permanent_ , home. We can't just keep him."

Andrew's smile dulls marginally. 

"It's okay... Good even. You saved a life," Jesse explains further, feeling actually proud of Andrew. "I... It... I hate when I have to give back the cats I take it... I get attached too easily, but... It's good you know, in the end? It's a good thing to do, because without me, maybe there wouldn't be a them."

And now Andrew looks like he is about to breakdown in tears, but instead Andrew surprises Jesse by pulling him (and Snickers) into a nearly crushing hug (minding enough room for the tiny kitten) and chokes out, "You get better and better every day."

"So says my therapist... The jury's still out on the truth to her words."

Andrew's quiet laugh is breathed against his temple through a slow exhale, and Jesse finds himself relaxing a bit more, whether it be from his friend's embrace or simply the cat's affect, he's not entirely certain or cares either way. This _thing_ between them, a friendship the likes he's never experienced with another before, is still new and incomprehensible, and while there are days he feels like he's still learning the ropes and boundaries of _Jesse and Andrew_ , Jesse cherishes this connection all the same.

A bite on his thumb brings Jesse's attention back to Snickers, and he smiles.

"I think this guy might be hungry."

Andrew pulls back, not really removing himself from Jesse's personal space, and looks down at the kitten and smiles, scratching its neck (Jesse's fingers too), and then nods pulling away to lead them into the kitchen where Jesse finds Andrew has jumped feet first into _pet ownership_ with gusto when he sees a water bowl, food bowl and a multitude of kitten food options that seems to have Jesse's own obsessive compulsiveness paled in comparison. 

It's in that precise moment that Jesse realizes he's falling more than a little bit in love with Andrew.

**Present**

Thankfully Jesse knows this part of the city well enough to navigate through it with his eyes shut (not that he ever would attempt it, he does value his life and has the presence of mind for self preservation). He sends out special thanks to the numerous fans who are more enamored by Spiderman than Mark Zuckerberg at the moment, keeping Andrew waylaid, as he strides his way down the block, taking the first right towards Seventh, where he will turn left and choose to walk rather than catch a train due to the copious amount of post-performance energy (and perhaps a smidge of anxiety and frustration combined) vibrating his nerves. He needs this walk to expend the built up energy, calm his nervousness, and hopefully wear himself out enough for a exhausted sleep so he can forget today and prepare for tomorrow, in hopes that his head will be _back in the game_ so to speak.

Jesse makes it back to his modest apartment in Chelsea little more than an hour post show (after taking a spin around the block of the pre-war building he's called home almost as long as he's lived in the city), and breathes a sigh of not so much relief but resignation, knowing now, _now_ is the time he needs to let go, to finally forget this stupid schoolgirl crush and fantasy of being swept off his feet (which he's more than a bit embarrassed of foolishly clinging to these near two years) and move on. Jesse can't help his heart feeling ten times its weight at the thought of letting Andrew go.

"We might need another cat," Jesse informs the two sets of eyes staring up at him. "You'd like another playmate, yeah?"

Whiskers (who he knows was named only because when you look at her she is all whiskers), and Ash (a gray tabby who doesn't like being held at all) share a look before sauntering back from wherever they had been lounging before he returned home.

"You'll thank me for it," he calls after them, dropping his backpack on the floor and leaning heavily against the closed door to gain some semblance of calm he doesn't expect to find.

After a minute, Jesse pushes himself off the door, slips off his sneakers, and walks into his tiny kitchen (kitchenette really) to heat water up for tea (by kettle of course, _because it makes tea taste better_ , as Andrew always claimed while they were on location), and waits for the whistle, sinking a bit deeper over realizing how much Andrew has influenced his life in the short time they've known each other. 

Jesse doesn't understand how this happened, how he allowed this to happen, because normally, in the past, when he's met others he found himself attracted to but knows he has no chance in hell of ever being with, it's always been easy to cut himself off from the unhealthy emotional attachments that came with unrequited lo... _longing_ , but Andrew, it seems, snuck below Jesse's radar and before he knew it, there was no chance of shutting Andrew out. Andrew was already there, cozied up closer to Jesse's heart than anyone before, and there were all these _feelings_ , and confusion, and signals understood and mixed-up, leaving Jesse feeling claustrophobic, and happy, and so freaking scared that he'd need to close himself up in his bedroom to lie prostrate in bed just breathing and willing his hands to stop shaking. It would take hours for the storm to subside, but eventually he would calm, and for a time forget, but forgetting was never an answer, and never forever, because who in their right mind (and he's given up hope of ever being in his right mind) could ever forget _Andrew_?

Right on cue, Jesse would be lying if he said Andrew coming to his apartment was unexpected, there is a knock on his door (he really needs to consider moving into a more secured building, but who's he kidding, he'll probably live here until the day he dies, or they decide to demolish the building, because change and he are not friends, not at all). Jesse takes a few deep breaths before abandoning his kettle watching to answer the door. He leaves the chain on when he opens it.

"Hey," Andrew greets, biting at his thumb, looking as nervous and uncertain as Jesse feels, but Andrew tries a smile that Jesse can't bring himself to return.

"Hi," is the best Jesse can offer, one hand gripping and releasing the doorknob while the other worries away at the bottom of his hoodie.

Jesse pinches his bottom lip between his teeth, and Andrew alternates looking at the corridor's hideous carpeting that needed changed out ten years ago and what little he can see of Jesse through the crack in the door, hand ruffling the back of his hair. The silence is tense and uncomfortable, the complete opposite of what Jesse has come to expect between them, and more unsettling than he cares to admit.

"Um... Can we... Can we talk?" Andrew asks, smile this time more believable, maybe even a little hopeful.

"Yes?" Jesse returns, making no move to remove the security chain, or even open the door.

"Yes, do you think... Um... Can I come in?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Jesse says, shaking his head and closing the door to remove the chain (ignoring the tremble in his hand), then opening the door wider for Andrew.

They make eye contact as Andrew passes through the threshold, Andrew sneaking a peek up at Jesse who just looks back wary and uncertain (probably a little scared too, but then he's not an expert on his own looks).

"Jesse..."

"Tea!" Jesse interrupts. "I'm making tea, do you want..."

"Jesse..."

"With a pot... kettle... you know, the only way..." The whistling in the kitchenette cuts Jesse off and he feels his cheeks flush hot as he ducks his head and makes a retreat to the stove to quiet the kettle. 

He doesn't miss the murmured exhale of his name by Andrew, expressed with more affection than Jesse is willing to allow his own heart to hope for. Instead, Jesse busies himself with tea preparations, one spoon of sugar for him, honey and milk for Andrew. It's like riding a bike, remembering, which is the real problem here. He could push everything to the back of his memory, box it all, wrap it up, and hide it all away, but one moment with Andrew, the hidden contents unravel and take up all the empty spaces he'd been overlooking.

"Hey." 

Andrew's voice is closer than Jesse expects, and he jumps when Andrew's hands rest on his shoulders, causing him to drop the spoon he's been stirring the teas with, hands now shaking uncontrollably. Jesse fists them, pressing his knuckles into the counter praying for this moment to pass with as little embarrassment possible, but his usual luck dictates this evening is going to be full of embarrassment and possibly a bit of regret. 

"Jesse, are you okay?"

"Why are you here?"

Andrew's hands slip from his shoulders.

"Well, I would think that was obvious," Andrew replies, a little humor and a bit of uncertainty cracking his voice. "Jesse, look at me."

And that's the problem, he can't. Jesse can't face this head on, doesn't want to, nor does he want to accept that there is nothing he can do to change what is happening here tonight. 

"Why aren't you with Emma?" Jesse asks when he finally does turn around to face his friend, causing Andrew to take a startled step back. "Why are you wasting your time here with me when... when..."

"Emma?" Andrew says her name as a question, confusion evident in his tone before his eyes go saucer sized and he runs an agitated hand through his wild hair. "Oh my God, Jesse you have to know we're..."

"It doesn't matter," Jesse shrugs, staring intently at his sock covered toes curling and flexing. "I mean, we're all friends, right? I'm happy for you."

The rock in his stomach settles even heavier. 

Andrew releases a frustrated groan. "If you aren't the silliest man... Jesse, Emma and I are just friends, barely friends actually. We're co-workers that get on well, and yeah maybe after alls said and done we will be friends but, you have to know."

"Why were you with her tonight?" Jesse really tries to ignore the jealous and accusing tone of his own voice.

"We were there to support you," Andrew answers matter-of-factly. "Because we both think you are brilliant and knew this play was going to showcase to all its viewers what we already knew. We were there for _you_."

Jesse ducks his head again, embarrassed for a whole other reason than he expected to be. 

"Hey," Andrew says, stepping into Jesse's space and lifting his head by his chin. "I obviously have not made myself very clear on a few key points of you and me, so I want you to listen, and listen good, yeah?"

Jesse nods his response.

"First, from the moment we met, I was a goner. There was just something special about you that I wanted to know, needed to know, and I have never been as grateful for a movie role granting us the opportunity to become friends."

Andrew shyly smiles then, thumb stoking beneath Jesse's right eye, as if tracing over the lines there, and more likely dark circles, trying to erase the signs of stress and misery.

"Second, we are not _just friends_ and I hope to God I'm not the only one feeling... _this_ ," Andrew continues, placing his hand over Jesse's heart that he just now realizes is galloping like a race horse. "You mean the world to me, Jesse Eisenberg, and I'd hate to find this over before it began, only because we never gave _us_ a chance."

"Third..."

Andrew doesn't get a chance to finish his third point because it's then that Jesse pushes up the half inch he needs to make them level and silences Andrew with his mouth, his dry lips catching on Andrew's own, but then Andrew licks out, a slide and press of moisture that Jesse opens up to, invites, and it feels like he might float away, and in that moment Jesse feels satisfied that if he should die then and there, at least he had this moment, these few seconds of completeness. At least he would die a happy man. Thankfully, death does not come for him just yet, but he needs to ground himself somehow so Jesse reaches out, hands grasping at Andrew's elbows where they are bent from Andrew cupping his face, fingers cold against his neck, and cheeks, the brush of Andrew's nose is even chilled and makes Jesse step a little closer. When the kiss breaks, they are both breathing deeply, almost breathlessly, and Andrew smiles, wrapping his arms around Jesse and continuing to grin against his temple.

"And third," Andrew continues with his list, not easily distracted apparently, arms squeezing just a bit tighter. "No matter what you see in the mirror, or think other people see, _you_ are absolutely _perfect_ to _me_."

And for once, Jesse actually believes.


End file.
